Keisha’s Story
Keisha had always been a strong, determined child from the day she was born - 21st August 1998 – 10 weeks early! Little did we know that she would need that strength and determination to fight for her life. Keisha was a happy, healthy child enjoying the world and all that childhood should be. She loved dancing, swimming, reading, acting, and in her teenage years – shopping.
That all changed after a disastrous holiday in Mexico, we had gone there for her to swim with Dolphins, a wish that she never got to complete. Instead, on our return on 23rd April 2008 (my birthday), we were told the news that she had a large brain tumour which they would try to remove but weren’t that hopeful of the outcome. As parents, who knew that children even got cancer - so our long journey had started.
Keisha had a ‘rare’ ependymoma tumour. The surgery was successful, and treatment continued with 30 rounds of radiotherapy. Even at 9, Keisha was going to give the medical staff a run for their money. She could no longer swallow after surgery, and a tube was used to clear her airways. Her first sentence to them was ‘Don’t treat me like a dead fish’. That was our Keisha she was still with us, although she now had permanent deafness in one ear and Bell’s Palsy down one side of her face, so she had lost her beautiful smile.
From the beginning she took charge of her treatment, she would only go for her daily radiotherapy once she had finished her school day because she could then rest afterwards, and she didn’t want to miss school. Life returned to the new normal of MRI scans every six months and a lot of hope. However, our hope ran out in May 2012 when we were told that a new tumour had grown.
This time we had more time to find the best place for her type of brain surgery, so off we went to Alderhey Children’s Hospital, Liverpool. Sadly, this was not our only visit and with several more re-lapses, there were more visits and brain operations and a further 30 rounds of radiotherapy.
All the time we were told “it’s good that it’s not spread to her spine” but then it did! Keisha was 15 by then and in the middle of her GCSEs but a large spinal tumour was not going to stop her from completing them so only when she had done this, did we make our final trip to Alderhey in June 2014. Neither was major spinal surgery going to stop her from going to her Prom, even though it was less than a week afterwards. On a plus side, all her determination had paid off with the schooling and cancer hadn’t won, she achieved a fantastic 2A* and 8As.
Keisha had started another round of radiotherapy, this time the 33 intense rounds hit all down her spine and her lovely long brown hair finally fell out. School was finished and as there were still several growths in her spine (that they had missed during surgery?) in her usual fashion, she stepped up her own research. We all became vegan almost overnight and she started a blog called “My Cancer Diet” with recipes and her thoughts. On her next MRI scan, there had been no further growth – some good news!
Keisha made plans for her 17th Birthday – she didn’t want to wait until her 18th. Her friends joined her in Brittany and we all had a lovely week. We had, however, noticed that she was not walking very well but only when her friends had left, did she tell us that she thought the growths were back in her spine. On our return, an MRI confirmed that there were many more growths. At this point, Keisha had already decided, prior to the NHS withdrawing treatment, that she would not undergo any further surgery.
Still determined, Keisha went down the only remaining route of hope, holistic medicine. Based on her own research – she was a very avid reader - off to Germany we went. It was really her last wish so how could it be denied? All I will say is that when we got to Germany, she could hardly walk but within two weeks she was skipping around the Christmas markets. If we hadn’t gone to Germany, I don’t think she would have made it to Christmas so our gain was that we had extra time to make a few more precious memories.
Palliative care - two words a parent never wishes to hear. We had no plan. How do you prepare for the unthinkable? Well, you go to a talk, with your daughter, about end-of-life care. Keisha insisted on going and was determined to hear all the speakers. We met a lovely lady called Sacha Langton-Gilks who bravely gave her first talk ever about losing her son DD. Depressing as it sounds, it gave us focus on what we needed to do next. This was the reality of the situation; this was the last thing that we would be able to do as a family and for Keisha and for our love for her we had to get it right. Following the meeting, Sacha wrote a book called ‘Follow the child’ a parent’s perspective on planning for the passing of your child, through the parent’s eyes rather than that of the medical professionals. However, you find out quickly that you need support and can’t do it alone. We had the support of our local children’s hospice. They arranged for Keisha to have a Christmas Pool Party with her close friends. Keisha was still in high spirits over Christmas, she could still stand on Christmas Eve at her friend’s party but by New Year’s Eve, she could no longer use her legs.
Keisha was now paralyzed from the waist down and we all learned quickly how to cope with the issues that this brings, and we were able to manage her care at home. Even wheelchair-bound she would always get dressed up on a Friday night and we’d all go out for something to eat. We said it was our little treat for making it through another week. Keisha’s new mantra was now - access and the positioning of wheelchairs in restaurants and very importantly how inaccessible a lot of disabled toilets were for people with severe disabilities – points she discussed in her blog. Then she became too sick to leave the house, but she only missed two Friday nights out.
Keisha gave hospitals a very wide berth, but we had a very understanding and wonderful palliative care consultant that took real time to sit and talk to Keisha. The day of her passing he spoke to her in the morning, and she said she wanted to go to the hospital, so we knew this was not good. When we think back now, was this Keisha thinking of us – she didn’t want us to be alone. Our only child, died peacefully in the hospital that same day 10th March 2016.
Many years have now passed, and our hearts will never mend. I no longer cry every day but that does not mean we don’t think of her every day. I hadn’t really written down my thoughts until now and I thought they would make me sad but strangely recalling all these moments has just made me very proud of how determined, brave, and strong our daughter really was. She was never bitter about ‘why me’, just annoyed that there was so little research into childhood cancers.
Keisha means fortunate and strangely enough, she always thought she was because she had been given a further eight years to take life by the horns and she did. After her passing I found words that she had written on her iPad – she had written about when she had watched a film called ‘The Fault in our Stars’ about two teenagers with cancer. Her observation was if Hollywood couldn’t spin a happy ending when the main character died, what chance did she have? She went on with her usual philosophical thinking – saying ‘no one lives forever, although many people might not understand - she was fine with it’. These words over time have given us comfort.
To continue with the film theme and to remember Keisha, I’m going with the song ‘THIS IS ME’ from the Greatest Showman or in Keisha’s case ‘THIS WAS ME’. We miss playing board games and losing, the fashion tips, dietary instructions, the rolling eyes, the knowing looks, but most of all we miss, our Keisha Ellen Ranger. When her family and friends remember her and we talk to or about her we also know it’s the only time that we may have the last word.
Inspired by her, we set up our charity Keisha’s Blessing. We know what it is like when the world you knew and the future you had planned are taken from you. Grief is personal but support can be shared – you are not alone.
Keisha
Forever determined, forever loved,
Wherever we are, whatever we do,
Forever we will think of you.
Your heartbroken parents,
Zoe & Martin